Finding our Identity in Christ Brings Hope

In the past 10 years, the amount of people in the entertainment industry who have taken their own lives is alarming.

Probably one of the most well known and shocking of these was actor and comedian, Robin Williams.

From his humble beginnings as Mork, the alien who visited Happy Days and ended up with his own television show to his award-winning performance in Good Will Hunting, Williams charmed and entertained his audiences like few others in his profession.

Whether comedy or drama, he had the ability to bring us inside the story with him and have us feeling every emotion his characters felt.

He had a child-like sense of orneriness that made him all the more disarming and perhaps the reason why millions loved him.

Which makes it all the sadder that this man, who made his living by making us laugh, was so lonely and so depressed in his real life, that he felt he had to end it.

Unfortunately, he is not alone. Just last year, fashion designer Kate Spade and celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, both committed suicide by hanging.

Some of the wealthiest, most famous people of our time were so overwhelmed with life that they felt they needed to leave it.

These poor souls had a longing, an ache, a hollowness inside that no amount of money could cure.

Sadly, it is not just the rich and famous who suffer such desperation, but some of our youngest and most innocent lives.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in America for young people age 15-24.

But why?

Why with their entire lives ahead of them, do these kids feel so hopeless that they end their lives before they really even get started.

I am no mental health expert, and I know there are usually a variety of factors that lead to such a permanent decision, but one thing I think that is missing in a lot people today, young and old alike, is a sense of identity.

A recent article I read about eating disorders had some interesting things to say about our identity. “Identity and self esteem are closely related and developing self esteem and a strong sense of identity are very important to good mental health. Your sense of identity has to do with who you think you are and how you perceive yourself. It’s about how you define yourself. Self esteem is how you value yourself. It has to do with your sense of self-worth. Both affect your mental health, your behavior and how you relate to other people.”

That is why it is vitally important that we find our identity in Christ and that we teach our children to do the same.

When we perceive ourselves as someone specifically created by God, made in His image and designed for a purpose, we give ourselves and our children a solid foundation to travel through all of life’s hills and valleys. Part of that foundation is hope.

I spent a year substitute teaching in our county’s public schools.

What a difference from when I went to public school in the late 80s and early 90s.

For one thing, we never had special teachers for emotional support, behavioral support or psychologists. (Funny how when the Bible was forced out of school, those jobs had to be brought in.)

Not that I don’t see the need for them. I think they are, unfortunately, absolutely needed in the school system these days, and I applaud the men and women who fill those roles.

I have seen them in action and they are amazing at what they do. They have the patience of Job and a depth of compassion that few others surpass.

The sad part is, hard as they try and as much as they might want to, they can’t give these kids the one thing they so desperately need – hope.

Why? Because they’re not allowed to tell them about the one person who can give them everlasting hope – Jesus.

Oh, they can do their best to bolster the self-esteem and patch up the emotional wounds they’ve brought from home, but I noticed it was never a permanent fix.

The one lady I worked with most was the most pleasant person and spoke so genuinely and so kindly to those kids, and they did love her. Yet, it seemed like it was the same group of kids rotating through her office all year long.

It wasn’t just kids from bad homes either. Some kids came from very good homes, they just had no sense of self whatsoever.

I remember one of the first days I subbed there, this girl, a sixth-grader, came up to me just bawling her eyes out. She wanted to go see the psychologist because the girl beside her was picking on her.

You would have thought she was clawing her eyes out.

I let her go and a few minutes later the psychologist called me. She said she had talked to her and she was sending her back to class. She also informed me to be on guard because she would probably be in tears again before class was over if I didn’t make her stay there and toughen up.

Apparently, her sense of identity was non-existent and her self-esteem so low that she could barely deal with life. At least, she thought she couldn’t. The psychologist said the best thing in her case was not to take her out of that situation but leave her in it to see that yes, she could deal with it.

I could feel her gaze on me for about the next five minutes. Just waiting for an opening to turn on the tears, but I successfully avoided her gaze and by the end of class she was laughing with her friends.

A few weeks later I was subbing for someone else and passed her in the hall, face tear-stained, headed for her favorite place.

Sadly, she was far from alone in this routine.

While I could never quite understand it before, that year it became clear to me why so many kids were taking their lives due to bullying.

It’s not necessarily that kids are meaner, oh there are a few who you would swear are the devil incarnate, but for the most part their barbs and jabs are pretty much the same as when I was in school.

It’s not even so much that it’s constantly in their face due to social media. It definitely doesn’t help matters, but it’s not the major cause.

The major cause is not on the outside of these kids. It’s on the inside.

These kids have no idea who they are or how to define themselves.

I know we all mature at different rates and we are constantly learning things about ourselves, but that’s not what I’m talking about.

I’m talking about the most basic building blocks of who we are, of who we want to be.

I’m talking about knowing deep within yourself that you have value, not because of what anybody else thinks of you, but because you were uniquely created by the God of the universe.

I can remember one time in my life that I was picked on in school.

I had just started fifth grade. There was one elementary school in our county that only went up to fourth grade, and it happened to be just minutes from my house.

After students finished fourth grade they were sent to one of the other three elementaries in the district to finish out their primary education.

That year, our class got sent to the school that was the farthest from my house. The students there were not exactly what I’d call welcoming.

They came off as a bit gruff, and I think they liked that impression.

Of course, I’d later find that they were just the same as my other friends, but at first they were a bit intimidating.

Though the general aura of unfriendliness I felt may have been mostly in my head, the hostility I felt from a few gals in the sixth grade class was definitely for real.

I was always a good reader in school and so throughout elementary I had to go to the grade above me for reading groups. You can imagine how well that went over with this particular class of sixth graders. (Think Mean Girls with biceps!)

I had never had a problem with any of the students in the other schools I attended, but these girls were none too impressed with my reading prowess.

I remember one girl in particular who sat directly in front of me. She wasn’t even one of the big brawny ones. She was at least a head shorter than me, but her attitude was as large as could be.

She turned around one of my first days in class and told me I was ugly, and she didn’t like me very much.

Other girls chimed in, and it carried over onto the playground. They never got physical, just a lot of mean words – telling my friends and I we didn’t belong there and we should just go home.

Did I like it? No, of course not. It didn’t feel good to be teased, especially when you didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Did I let it ruin my self image. No.

In fact, I never once thought it had anything to do with me. I just wondered what in the world was wrong with them that they would treat someone like that for no good reason.

You see, I may have only been in fifth grade, but my parents had taught me that I had value. I had worth. Not because I was smart, or pretty or athletic, but because I was a child of God.

He had created me for a purpose and gifted me to do great things and I wasn’t about to let some grade school bullies get in the way of all that.

It wasn’t arrogance or pride, just a pure confidence in knowing that God had a plan for me that was far beyond those present circumstances.

That’s the foundation I see missing in so many of our kids today. They need that inner strength that comes from knowing they have value beyond their physical appearance or abilities.

They need to know they’re made for something greater than make-up and selfies or basketball trophies and academic awards.

It’s not just kids though. There are adults who need to know the same thing.

But how do we give that to kids.

How do we teach them to find their identity in Christ?

Again, I’m certainly no expert on parenting, but I know what my parents taught me, and I know what I teach to my kids.

You have to start somewhere, so for what it’s worth, here are three things to help give your kids that inner strength they can build upon for the rest of their lives.

Specifically created by God

One of the most damaging consequences of the theory of evolution is teaching people that humans just “evolved” from nothing.

Well, let me tell you something, when you tell kids that they started as nothing, guess what they’re going to think they’re worth – nothing.

On the other hand, if you tell them that they were each specifically and specially made by the hand of none other than the God of the universe – the same God who made the beauty that they can see in the creation all around them – guess what they’re going to think they’re worth – everything!

They will know how special they are to God and love Him more because of it.

They will praise Him like the psalmist of Psalm 133: because he “knit me together in my mother’s womb…I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

How amazing it is to know that God’s been working on us since we were in our mother’s womb. Yet, His plans for us started even before then.

In Jeremiah 1:5, he tells the prophet, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.”

Before our parents even knew about us, God knew.

Before they loved us, He loved us.

That’s a great place to start building a solid sense of self!

Made in His Image

Not only can we have confidence because we have been specifically made by God, but also because we have been made in His image.

At the very beginning of Creation, as the Triune God consulted with each other upon the making of the first man, they said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” (Genesis 1:26)

Of all the glorious things God has made, of all His amazing creatures, we humans are the only ones who were made in His very image.

That means only we were marked with some semblance of his great intelligence, his reason, his great capacity to love unconditionally.

Far greater than that though, is the fact in being made in His image, we are the only created beings who have body, mind and soul.

That’s right, there is part of us that, like our Creator, will never die – our soul.

Though it has been marred by sin, He loved us so much that He died so that, if we have chosen Him, even though our bodies may die, that soul will live eternally with Him.

Created for a Purpose

While the first two items I mentioned can help us develop a firm sense of who we are, the final one will give us a sense of purpose.

Aren’t those two of the questions people ask most about their lives?

Who am I, and why am I here?

As always, God has the answer.

Not only did he specially create us in His own image, He created us for a purpose.

In Jeremiah 29:11, he tells the prophet, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Lest we think his message way only for Jeremiah, Paul echoes those sentiments in Ephesians 2:10 in which he states, “…we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

So though we may not know specifically what his purpose for us is until such a time as He feels we are ready to know it, we do know that our main purpose is to glorify God through our good works.”

The amazing and exciting fact is that the way in which He chooses for each one of us to perform those good works is as unique and different as we are.

Preaching sermons, teaching children, feeding the hungry…There are as many ways to bring Him glory and do good works as there are people to perform those works. And He has gifted each one of us with the specific talents and abilities we will need to perform the specific purpose He has for us.

If that doesn’t give you hope for your future, I honestly don’t know what can.

I will tell you this. I have spoken before about my own struggles with anxiety and depression. I have been in that dark place that feels inescapable.

Yet even as low and miserable as I felt, I never thought of ending it all. There were times I was afraid the devil was somehow going to make me want to kill myself, but I never wanted to do it on my own.

I firmly believe the thing that kept me holding on was the fact that I knew in my soul that God had a purpose for me. I knew, even though it felt like an eternity, that this time in my life had to have an ending point because God had more good works for me to do.

For example, when I had my worst episode with anxiety a few years ago, there were two things that kept me from giving up -their names are Graci and Eli. One of the greatest privileges God has ever given me is being their mother, and I knew His purpose for me was to lead them in the way they should go.

I needed to be an example for them of how to trust God when times get tough, and my job was far from over. So I leaned in hard to my Savior till he brought me through the storm and put me safely on the other side.

Trust me, if you want to give your kids the inner strength to keep on fighting when this world knocks them down, make sure they know they were created for a purpose.

Make sure they know, not just who they are, but who they are in Christ.

Help them find their identity in Him, in doing so you will help them find the one thing so many human beings are so desperately searching for – HOPE!